Bare Necessities

I took another long drive this morning, heading down the M3. I don't know what else to do except keep searching. I'm just wasting petrol.

It occurred to me, somewhat belatedly, that there should be cars on the roads. Not everyone works 9 to 5 especially near the airport. There should be vehicles abandoned but there aren't. It's almost like someone tidied up, putting everything back where it should be.

I did a bad thing today. I stopped at the 24 hour Tesco at Sunbury Cross curious to see if it would be open. Strangely it was. I could have driven the car through the huge bi-fold doors and I was tempted for a second to actually try it. Dry autumn leaves and various other bits of litter had been swept through the doors by a breeze and the debris crumpled under my feet as I cautiously crept inside. I stood listening for life but the only sound was the low hum of electricity. I spent the next hour mooching up and down the aisles pretending it was just the usual shopping trip. I didn't go crazy, I didn't put anything in the trolley that I wouldn't normally buy. When I got to the tills I didn't know what to do. I could have gone to the self service and scanned everything but I am ashamed to say I didn't. I left without paying.

Should I feel as guilty as I do? I have never stolen a thing in my life. I am the honest one, the person who admits she's been given too much change. This isn't me at all.

I need help. I need a plan. I need to wake up!!